THE TEST DRIVE MEME: MARCH - APRIL

[checkingin]

THE TEST DRIVE MEME

SO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE CREEPY HOTEL BRIGADE.

Well, welcome potential apper! Here we have the handy dandy test drive meme so you can get a feel for how your character might react to the game setting. This post can also be used to cultivate some of those required sample threads for the application.

Feel free to play any scenario you so please. However please note that TDM threads cannot be used for Activity Checks (for existing players) and will not be considered game canon unless transposed comment for comment into logs in checkingout. We also recommend avoiding playing the initial arrival, so that the intro log doesn't become repetitive and boring for you. Other than that, go wild.

Here's a few additional useful links:

PREMISE | THE HOTEL
TAKEN | RESERVES | APPLICATION

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS.

No time for losers, because we — have waffles and pancakes and crepes and delicate bowls of ripe bananas and juicy oranges. We have bacon and oatmeal and cereal and milk; we have coffee (that's really hot and will burn you quite spectacularly) and tea (that, on the other hand, is miserably cold and bland). And we have orange juice (that might just kill you)!

Basically, every component one needs to start the day off right. Which is good, because this is the only meal ever served in the hotel. So come one, come all — get it while it's hot and try to pick among seats amidst the crowded circular tables, or stand along the wall. Bemoan the lack of hashbrowns or fight over the last fork. Mix, mingle. Have "fun".

DON'T YOU LOVE MY TASTE IN MUSIC.

What starts as soft, subtle musical notes wafting out of unseen speakers?

Yeah, that quickly manifests into blaring, loud, aggressively high pitched notes — so distorted, and reverberating so magnificently in the main lobby that even those impenetrable windows rattle in their frames.

And what's more, there doesn't seem to be an off switch anywhere in sight. Good luck finding one.

GOING DOWN.

Right by the stairwell in the lobby is an old timey elevator, the sort that really ought to be manned by staff to insure that it's in decent working condition and won't kill you. But it's usually not. And usually doesn't run.

But today, your ears are treated to an oh-so pleasant ding, and the doors will slide open, offering a ride to the floor of your choosing. Finally, no more calf workouts on the stairs, right?

...well, you probably should have taken the stairs, because three seconds in the entire carriage shudders, screeches to a halt, and refuses to move.

Then the lights begin to flicker.

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE.

Don't see a scenario that appeals to you here? Make up your own. Get crazy with it! Good luck getting outside.

Comments

harvey bullock. gotham.

[wentalong]

[ Every component one needs to start the day off right? Blasphemy because there is one sacred item missing from this breakfast smorgasbord. ]

What the hell are you talking about, there's no bagels here!

[ This is a goddamn travesty and Harvey Bullock will not stand for it. True, there's a lot of things he will let slide but seriously? Seriously? Even he's got standards. He's waving his cup of coffee around (a little bit dangerously but he heard "complimentary" and that means as many refills as his caffeine craving needs) and continuing to heap abuse on this waiter in the hopes of... Of something. Something other than the guy just staring at him and smiling like some friggin' weirdo. At least in New York City oh oops Gotham City people eventually yelled back. You got a reaction. ]

No, I don't want to speak to a frigging manager, I want you to go back to the kitchen and find a goddamn bagel! I don't even care if it's cinnamon raisin or pumpernickel, just—

[ Dragging a hand down his face, he groans loud enough you'd think he's in severe physical distress — because this is a Big Damn Deal, screw you guys — ]

Augh. Wanna know what, just forget it. But I am going to take all of this bacon and screw you, pal. Bite me. [ Jabbing a finger at the waiter. ] On second thought, no, I don't want you that close to me, you're creeping me out. Sonova—

[ He's going to just abscond to a table as far away from this breakfast buffet of lies and disappointment as he can. With his coffee. ]

[uniform]

[ This is why, in hindsight, just taking his plate and eating someplace else that wasn't the breakfast hall would have been the better choice for the day.

Jim catches Harvey by the shoulder as he leaves, half-placating and half-this is too early in life for any of this. ]

Wanna leave half for the rest of us?

[wentalong]

[ Jim, don't touch him, that's really rude, okay. Shrugging him off violently, he glares at his very own asshat. You'd think if he'd be free of that annoying flavor of Boy Scout anywhere, it'd be in the Twilight Zone but nope. Noooope. ]

If you want more, ask Stepford Smile over there, I'm sure he'll be happy to get you more [ the rest is shouted over Jim's head at the waiter who gives a carefree nod and grin! ] AS LONG AS IT'S NOT A BAGEL.

[ Deep breath. Okay, indoor voices. ]

...If you want bacon so bad, you can have some but everybody else can take a walk.

[suspense_kills_me]

[Red can't help but pay attention to the commotion in the breakfast area.]

To be honest, the bacon isn't even that good.

[wentalong]

[ People would have to be deaf to not notice given the temper tantrum Bullock's throwing here. ]

Then it's the principle of the thing, all right? [ Harv, don't snap at random people. This is not the way to make friends do you remember nothing of kindergarten. ] And besides, most bacon's good enough and that suits me fine.

[suspense_kills_me]

[Red's not going to take it personally.]

Understandable, but I'd suggest trying the sausage when they have it. Better quality.

[wentalong]

You know, that's the first useful piece of information I've gotten since shacking up here?

[ As it's actually applicable and not in the vein of nerdy crap that can't be real and won't matter when he wakes up from his bender. Clearly. ]

[suspense_kills_me]

Let me guess, you woke up in what looked like the most low rent hotel room you've seen in your life?

[He had to be new. It was the only explanation for trying the bacon.]

[wentalong]

No mint on my pillow, either.

[ He's been here a couple days, and hungover to boot at the start. That'd be another nice thing to add to the buffet, just a couple mimosas wouldn't go over too hard. ]

Got some crazy X-Files wannabes telling me what was what, minus how to get the hell out.

[suspense_kills_me]

House keeping is a bit lacking, I'll give you that.

[Red would agree with the mimosas, though that would mean he'd have to drink that dreadful orange juice.]

There aren't any doors. I doubt 'getting the hell out' is something our captors want us to do.

[wentalong]

"A bit?" I haven't seen one Consuela hovering around to go and fill my minibars, never mind this travesty going on every morning.

[ yyyyeah Harv would opt for Gotham River water over this swill ]

See, that's the part I don't get. Maybe all the rest of you guys here are crazy — no offense — but me? I'm a regular guy. Joe Schmo, I keep my head down and I do my job and that's it. What the crap did I do to deserve this setup?

[ Woe betide the poor abused corrupt cop. Someone cue the violins. ]

[suspense_kills_me]

Considering I don't know you, I wouldn't even begin to fathom the reason.

[Red didn't even know if there was a unifying reason that any of them were there, but he supposed that clues would be revealed eventually.]

yaasss.

[ingrantitude]

I wouldn't blame you if you took all the bacon. [Ward's got fruit himself. and a small plate of eggs with salsa.] be warned though I may fight you for it.

i apologize in advance. harv is a special child

[wentalong]

Bring it on, Scruffy, and we'll see who's talking tough after I wipe the floor with you.

[ Never mind the fact that the most exercise Bullock's gotten is chasing down deadbeat racket-ees who owe him money and/or Jim when being dumb. This is a terrible idea and it's going to end terribly.

...

Whatever, he can bluff this guy out. He will not be denied this breakfast victory. ]

I need this CR.

[ingrantitude]

[Scruffy?

He raises an eyebrow before he leans back and smiles.]

Nah. Fights are like lunch at McDonalds. not until 11:30.

[wentalong]

[ It'd also be similar to McD's in that it'd be cheap, quick, and in hindsight really the worst option you had.

Bullock just stares back, the picture of (hypocritically scruffy) unimpressed. He's used to Gotham crazy, it's going to take a lot to get him riled. ]

Then why don't you cruise on the drive-through and hit the road? You need your rinds so bad filled, go on and ask any of the happy-go-lucky-if-they're-hit-by-a-bus bellhops.

[ingrantitude]

[He raises an eyebrow and smiles. This is hilarious.] Little mad about the bell hops huh?

[wentalong]

How hard is it to make a goddamned bagel?! [ You reopened this can of worms, blame no one but yourself. Sure, he was being belligerent but he was being belligerent at normal volumes. Now? Nope. ] It's a ring of baked dough! There's gotta be some weirdo baker supplying this freakshow hotel, why the hell not make a simple friggin' bagel?!

[ingrantitude]

In the grand scheme of life I'd think that bacon's more acceptable then bagels man. [He tilts his head, leaving behind his own food and moving closer] What's really bugging you man.

C'mon. Let it out.

[wentalong]

Then your grand scheme is wholly screwed because there is no way bacon trumps a good bagel. [ Wait. ] Unless that bacon is on the bagel.

[ Nailed it.

Also wow, personal space, Ward. Do not compromise the bubble. ]

Uh, only thing really bugging me right now? Is you acting like you're about to join the Uncanny Valley staff here.

[gordons]

[jim sighs. there's a lot of things he didn't expect would happen in his life. being hit over the head and taken to some hotel you can't leave, that was one of them. but stuck with bullock? that was a horse of a different color.

and he really should expect no less than this]

There is more to life than breakfast foods.

[wentalong]

[ Hey. Hey. There are dozens of people who would choose to be stuck somewhere with Bullock — if the alternative was being stuck with Detective Don Quixote over here. ]

Yes! There's plenty more! [ Rounding on Jim, he scowls. ] Like liquor, and hookers, and food that ain't for breakfast. But see, none of those things are actually here so if you think I'm making a big deal over a lousy friggin' bagel? Then you're goddamned right I will because I have a right so some things!

[ Good morning, partner. ]

[gordons]

[Excuse you, Jim goes after real bad guys not windmills.]

And we have more important things to worry about, here.

[Not even going to bite. Just going to take a muffin.]

[wentalong]

Like what? You gonna be the big hero cop here too? Go all Mulder and check out every loose screw talking about ghosts?

[ Grumble grumble grumble. How dare you not engage his tantrum. ]

[gordons]

I'm starting to think that wouldn't be such a bad idea.